Looking back on another chapter of my life.

I have lived life, always trying to live life to its fullest. I’ve ridden motorcycles for more than 250,000 miles, and visited every state west of the Mississippi River. I rode the small highways and experienced all this great land had to offer. There is something about travelling along a two lane highway through a new land than inspires and makes you reflect on your soul.

I have had some very interesting opportunities to experience remarkable events. I grew up in Orange County, the bastion of conservatism. In my early years I embraced it. Then I moved beyond the “Orange Curtain” and saw the world. I spent time in Haight Ashbury doing the hippie scene, San Francisco in the late 60’s was remarkable. It was peace, love, and music. It was communal living, free love, and the utter joy of dancing to your own tune and walking to the beat of a different drummer. I got to hear some of the icons of rock and roll and see concerts at legendary venues, I got to go to a party at Ken Kesey’s ranch just before the start of the Kool Aid Acid Test took place. I watched as people painted the bus that was to make that epic journey.I spent time at places in North Beach and heard Ferlinghetti and Shel Silverstein read their works live. I also saw and experienced the topless era with people like Carol Doda.

I was in the military. I worked the “dark” side, collecting and analyzing intelligence during the Cold War.. I lived in the city that epitomized the Cold War, Berlin. I saw the contrasts between the West and the East. I saw people willing to die to escape the police state that was East Germany. I was aware of things that were happening but because of the sensitive nature of my work, could never talk to anyone about that. I knew the Vietnam war was based on lies, that the numbers the generals were feeding the public were make believe, I knew the daily body count. We worked and we drank. Berlin had over 1500 bars and we tried to visit as many as possible. In the city I walked, a lot. I walked many miles along the path of the Berlin Wall, observing the injustice the wall stood for. I also saw how the West manipulated the view so that it appeared that it was paradise in West Berlin, but it was only a facade. I got to taste tear gas and see a militarized police force used to quell demonstrations using brutality and water cannons. I learned a lot living in Berlin.

The next chapter will follow soon.

I’ve seen these words on many a police car. However something has been lost when those we have entrusted to protect and serve have become something to fear. It is so bad in some places that when police arrive on the scene people fear that someone will die. Even what was once a “routine” traffic stop has become a potential life or death scenario. The friendly officer on the beat has become the thug that will beat you into submission if he perceives your behavior as unacceptable or not in compliance to his definition of order. We have something wrong here folks. Something is very wrong when we fear the police more than the criminal.

The news is full of stories of people dying when they are confronted by police. Most reporting has been about black victims however there are victims from all races and ethnicity.  We seem to have come to the realization that police are now the enforcers of the powers that be. If people are protesting something they can expect to receive abuse at the hands of law enforcement.  It seems to be official policy that you suffer abuse if you are complaining about the abuse you suffer.

At one time we had constitutional rights but that seems to be more and more a myth. We are spied on. We are watched. Free speech and freedom of assembly are in the Bill of Rights but routinely ignored by those who took an oath to protect and serve.  We are moving toward a time when we will live in a constant state of fear.  We will fear the faceless enemy our government designates and fear our government because of what it is doing to us. A person I know says I obsess about George Orwell but I do not. I see his writing as more of a blueprint of how our oppression is designed. We now have a “big brother” and the stratification of society parallels what he described. Instead of the lens behind the mirror,  the all seeing eye, we carry a cellphone equipped with a camera and tracked by various methods for profit and to build a profile to predict our behavior. We have fallen victim to a system designed to control us.

Unfortunately we have become a people that are controlled by fear. .. Fear is used to divide and conquer.  Those in power know that if we ever united we could create change. That is what they fear, so they use race, ethnocity, and economic differences to keep the populace divided and under control. The media and social media are tools used to shape opinion and predjudices
What we see and hear is strictly controlled.  There is one problem.  Social media has become a powerful force for change. This was not envisioned by the government. There is now a concerted effort to disrupt social media to control those who use it as an organizing tool. The use of fake profiles and outright spying has increased. We need to be vigilant.

The police state is here. Right now I am but a small player in the battle against the military/financial/governmental juggernaut that confronts us. I can write and speak freely about the subject. However the prospect that someday that will not be possible is near. We need to keep fighting for freedom we are being denied as if they succeed in denying one person their rights they are winning the battle.  We must not let them win.

This post is about the Trans Pacific Partnership.  This is a multinational trade agreement that grants corporations sovereignty equal or exceeding that of countries. It is the end of democracy and the beginning of corporate fascism.

Okay… we as a people in this country are about to be betrayed in the worst possible fashion. There is a secret trade agreement ( the Trans Pacific Partnership)  that has been negotiated in secret that attacks the sovereignty of elected governments and gives that sovereignty to multinational corporations.  It will be fast tracked through Congress shortly after the Republicans take control. It is one thing Obama did that most people who know anything about it oppose. It is NAFTA on steroids. It means more jobs shipped overseas. It means corporations can disregard safety, labor, and any other laws they don’t like. It makes multinational companies more powerful than elected governments. They can sue countries that impact their profits. Profit trumps democracy and clean air or clean water. It makes even inadvertent copyright violations a criminal offense punishable by jail time. It will make propaganda and censorship legal. Free speech will be curtailed.  It is a 12 nation cartel that will rule the western world. The whole trade agreement was negotiated in secret. It will be presented to Congress but no debate or amendments will be allowed. Even Congress will not be allowed to see the whole document before voting to approve it. The public will not be given access to the contents of this  agreement until it is the law of the land. This is the end of democracy if approved.  Be aware people and read anything and everything you can about the TPP.  Some parts in draft form have been leaked and what they say will terrify any freedom loving person. It must be stopped. This is the biggest overreach by Obama yet and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner are working with Obama to pass it. Just that those people are working together makes it suspect.  Read, research,  and speak out now or forever live in slavery. You might have thought that the Hunger Games films were fiction… sorry. That just might be our future.

A “water summit” attended. In my area we depend on ground water and with our state in a historic drought we are all concerned about water. Learned a lot.

A dear friend has a young daughter that is really sick and I’m praying for her. It us tragic when a small child is gravely I’ll and all you can do is pray. Unfortunately in medical science virus infections don’t respond to regular medications. I hope she recovers.

We are really into fall. Cool nights and clear skies. Hoping for a little rain by next weekend we need it.

Fall also inspires me to adventure. This month I will spend a night camped at Agua Caliente hot springs. A night in the desert with some hot water to soak in. Time to heal both physically and mentally.

The weather is cooling and I’m seeing traces of moisture. I don’t know why I’m still here other than to enter the unknown requires that I stop procrastination and embrace the challenge. Maybe I’m just getting tired of the struggle with inner demons and unwilling to face them. No inspiration or significant other to drive me. I’m not the nomad I wanted to be but am just one step from being a hobo. Maybe that should have been my lot in life. Simple but true.

Mohs happened. They took a chunk of my ear. Not quite Van Gogh but it healed “somewhat”. Now to follow up because the signs say the cancer is still there. I guess at this stage of life I’m not in a hurry to go under the knife again. I’ll probably face the truth and visit the doctor next week. I’m resigned to the fact that as you grow older life forces you to face the fact we are not immortal.

The visit was not good. I am now scheduled for Mohs surgery because of the pathology results from the removal of a skin cancer on my right ear. When someone hears the word cancer one gets this sick feeling. However it goes they are moving forward to make it history.

One must be aware that while the sun is something we enjoy, too much sun is the same as being exposed to radiation. The rays cause cancer. I now have a sun hat and use sunscreen which gives me a small bit of protection. Take care. Having skin cancer is not something you want to experience.

A short post. I’m finding enough stimulation in life here in this small town to start thinking of settling down. As it stands I am living as a nomad/homeless person. I have a very small trailer and my truck and some great friends who let me park on their land. I originally was going to move with the seasons but got derailed by health issues. Now that those things are getting resolved I’m thinking of travel again.

As for health… I have cataracts and it has come time to do something about it. Also I’m going to see a dermatologist and take better care there. I need to schedule another visit to my ENT doctor. I need to look into alternative treatments for type 2 diabetes. All my years of neglect and abuse are catching up with me.

The other day I was involved in a conversation about the price of marujuana. It’s not like the 60’s no more.. an ounce can cost $100. I remember when that would cost $10. Oh well… inflation.

I cared for both parents and I’ve written about the experiences with my mom. However I have said little about my dad.

My dad died from a form of brain wasting. It was diagnosed as sporadic Kreutzfeld Jacob disease. It was a quick way to go and a as best as I can tell the victim is not aware that there is a problem. My dad started by having memory problems. His short term memory was first to go. My mom was the first to notice this when he would go grocery shopping then forget why he was at the store and leave. At first we thought of Alzhiemers but soon discovered it was more than that. My dad was one who took care of his appearance. He was always taking shave and change into nice clothes when you went shopping. We first notice that he would get ready to go shopping then he would basically sit down in wonder y you just done what he did. He went through bouts of confusion during this time. My mom took over driving duties since she was afraid he might have an accident.

The onset was quick. He studied degrading mentally very fast. He stopped taking and call me by name. He started referring to me as that other man. He started taking longer naps. at this point he was somewhat aware that something wasn’t right. We visited the doctor and the doctor referred us to a specialist who ran a series of tests. A brain scan revealed a lack of activity in large areas of the brain. After awhile he stopped talking. Later as the brain wasted he would stop talking but his mannerisms and speach was that of the child. It’s gone from man of 80 to a child maybe 6 years old. At this time I became more of a mischievous child than an adult. He now required constant supervision. I had some children’s books around the house and he found these very fascinating. He would read these books out loud a simple questions about things get better about. I also had a small toy that talks when you squeeze it and he would take and play with that for hours repeating the words as the dolls spoke. This went on for months at a time and we do a lot of energy to keeping him safe and entertained. With regular doctor visits the doctors were monitoring his progress and good give us no hope for any recovery. All they can do was telling us how to care for him and make him happy. As a small child he got into mischief a lot. he’d never been a very agile man as he had arthritis but sometimes he would surprise us bye doing things that where things you’d expect a six-year-old to do. One time while sitting in the backseat of my car going to the doctor he decided he’s gonna take all his clothes off. I had to take and get off the freeway quickly and find the place where I can take care of him. I got him dressed again but he refused to put his shoes on he wanted to go barefoot. So I obliged him and let him travel without his shoes on the doctor. I found having child proof locks in the rear seat was a godsend. I could not love him sit in the front of the car because he became a hazard to my driving. my dad is at least had the assistance of my mother. This was a very hard time prefer seeing them and she loved slowly fade away. Overall I think this attitude her skepticism of doctors because she did not trust the diagnosis. This would come back later when she was ill give me all kinds of problems.

Finally got to the point where my dads vital functions were affected. At that time we knew the end was near and arranged to do home hospice. My dad stopped eating and had already taken had problems breathing so we had all the equipment on hand to address this. We have your advance directive which we followed very closely. It was to be no extraordinary support or any issues with resuscitation as it was a no recesitate order. This all went well until one day my sister came to visit. See in a panic not knowing how to handle the situation got upset when outside and dial 911. This led to the confrontation between me my mom and the paramedics. One thing people must remember is if you are in a situation where you are doing Hospice and the paramedics were called they will take take the patient and transported the nearest hospital. In this case my dad was put into one hopital then transferred to Kaiser Permanente. This incident upset my mom very much. I went into panic mode and went to the hospital immediately. I immediately moved to invoke the advance directive for healthcare and the do not resuscitate clause. That’s a multi-day battle with doctors and lawyers of Kaiser Permanente. I eventually prevailed but only after finding a sympathetic doctor who stuck his neck out and followed the directive. Is feeding tube removed and any oxygen removed mostly because I could tell that he was existing only because of these actions. He was not responsive and it was only a matter of hours before he passed. Because of her previous encounter with one doctor at the hospital who wanted to do a brain removal his death I stood by until his body was transported to the mortuary. Finally we had him cremated and I still have the ashes. This marked the end of his life and the start of the decline in my moms health.

During the time my dad’s passing my mom assumed most of the duties as caregiver. I was working at a time and living up in Long Beach. However as my dad got worse I would spend many a night in Anza and commute to work the next day. I remember the day when I was notified of my sisters actions I was not there but sprung into action. The results of my sisters actions so angered my mom see specifically took my sister out of the living trusts. My sister to this day still does not see what she did is wrong. That is why in some cases I don’t consider myself as having any family. There are issues with how we face death and dying. I’m hoping what I write helps someone handle this difficult time.

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