They say growing old is a character building exercise. That may be but in my case I’m just becoming a character. I see my body changing. Some things that were easy in the past take extra effort now. You get thin skinned (literally) and find bruises and wounds that occur often. For me I worry about taking my meds. Your life becomes one pill or another as internal systems fail to work as they should. The health problems that are physical also transform into mental problems. You find that while the mind says you are the virile male your body betrays you when you want to act as you think you are. Gravity takes control. Fat accumulates on your body while at the same time it disappears in other areas. I always wonder about “age spots”, those discolorations on your body become more prevalent. Cancer or the fear of it always lurks in the background. Your mind fades and you wonder if you are going senile. My body is definitely 67 years old. My mind has yet to accept that. You look back at all the abuse you did to yourself and realize what a toll it took on you. You yearn for youth where love was all around you. You feel alone at times. No. Growing old is something I’m not handling well.

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